I Was Talking to Another Pastor About Small Groups
I had an interesting conversation with a pastor friend yesterday. He’s also planting a new church and is about 2 years ahead of me. We talked about a number of things including small group ministry. I told him that, although I’ve tried, I’ve never had a lot of success building small groups. We started three Harmony groups earlier this year and, although I and those who participated thoroughly enjoyed them, we didn’t really add many new people.
When I was given the task of starting this new church, I was given direction by our conference to begin with small groups. I was told that I needed to have 12 groups of 12 before I started worship. This core group of 144 people were needed in order to “guarantee” a successful church plant. When I met periodically with other church planters the first question I was asked by leadership was “How many small groups have you got so far?” When I responded with “Three,” I was “encouraged” to get more started as soon as possible.
I shared this with my pastor friend who acknowledged that he also had tried to start small groups but has now “given up” on them. His experience was that the small groups were never an outreach ministry. In theory a small group should grow through personal invitation and when it grew to 12 people, it would then “birth” a new group and each would continue its growth. His experience was that these groups didn’t grow, that they reached a comfortable size and then closed up. The groups became cliques and often became the source of gossip and criticism of the church and its leadership. So he ended their small group ministry and is focusing on spiritual formation through other means.
He also told me that in his reading he found that many experts are now saying that brand new church plants should not start with small groups but only add them later after the church has been established and strong leadership is in place.
I was somewhat surprised by what he shared with me. In some ways it validated some of my own feelings about small groups and why they’re so difficult to start in a church plant. It has to be intimidating for a new person or couple to go to a private home where they don’t know anyone and be asked to share about their beliefs and lives. Most people who first attend a new church prefer anonymity – to be an observer and to “test the waters.” A small group experience can be very intimidating for even seasoned church people.
As a result of our conversation, I’m not feeling like such a “failure” for not having a dozen small groups going right now. While I enjoy leading a few small groups, I also realize that they’re not for everyone. Spiritual formation can be accomplished in many different ways and I will try to offer as many opportunities as possible for people to grow in their faith in ways that are appealing and comfortable.
What do you think? How do you feel about small groups? Are they an essential part of church planting? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this matter.
Blessings,
Steve