Thoughts on Mother Teresa...
Like most people I was shocked to read reports of Mother Teresa's personal letters revealing her struggle to feel the God's presence in her life. Of all people we certainly expected that this saintly woman would have had a close personal relationship with God, would have felt the presence of Christ with her as she ministered in his name.
Instead her letters reveal an agonizing sense of spiritual deprivation. To me this raises at least two questions: first, knowing that Mother Teresa suffered this way for most of her adult life, how is it that she was able to continue to minister so powerfully. What motivated her? What empowered her? And second, how does her confession speak to those of us who periodically feel abandoned by God? I guess the larger question is, how do we reconcile Mother Teresa's life with what she wrote -- private thoughts that she assumed would never be seen?
I don't propose to answer those questions in this brief blog. These questions are worthy of full-length sermons, and I'm sure many pastors are wrestling with how to answer those questions that strike at the very heart of our faith.
All I can do right now is speak from my personal experience. And I can honestly say that I have never experienced what Mother Teresa describes in her letters. In fact, it was precisely in those times of personal tragedy and sorrow that I felt closest to God. When I was struggling with my call as to whether to enter the ordained ministry, God provided me with sign after affirming sign. My life has been extraordinarily blessed. For the most part I have had the sense that God has been with me, blessing me with professional success and personal happiness.
All I can say is that my heart goes out to Mother Teresa. I can't imagine doing all that she did while feeling so spiritually empty. And yet I know she fulfilled the will of God in her life. I believe God was with her even if she could not sense it. And I believe that she is now in God's loving presence -- a presence she longed for in this life and never fully experienced.