Whatever Happened to Empathy?
I was talking to my brother Bob the other day. He's a high school teacher in Texas. He was telling me how frustrating it is to work with that age group these days. They don't seem to have any sense of compassion, he was saying. He described showing the movie "Schindler's List" in class and being shocked and angry when the kids were laughing at some of the scenes of torture and violence. He shut off the movie and lectured them on their inappropriate response. But they didn't get it -- they didn't understand what he was talking about. My brother decided that young people today just don't have any empathy for those who are suffering. They laugh at the injury and misfortune of others. Our culture seems to encourage that with videos on YouTube, movies like "Jackass-the Movie" and the lyrics in much of rap music.
It seems that our culture has become so narcissistic and self-centered that we barely acknowledge the existence of others, let alone empathize with them. Empathy, or rather the lack of empathy is one of the most discussed topics in psychology today. Lack of empathy in children is manifested in such things as bullying, while in adults it is a contributing factor to all kinds of exploitive and abusive behavior. The fact is that if we cannot empathize then we will not care about others -- what they think, feel or need. There are a number of causes but I think our culture of hyper-independence, self-indulgence and materialistic fulfillment certainly contribute to this widespread malaise.
I attended a seminar in August at Church of the Resurrection in Overland Park, Kansas. One of the guest speakers was Jean M. Twenge, author of the book "Generation Me." Ms. Twenge is an associate professor of Psychology at San Diego State University and has conducted extensive research into the generation born since 1980. One of the points she raises is that the emphasis on promoting self-esteem, beginning in preschool and continuing through the teen years, has produced a generation of young adults that are narcisstic, self-centered and anti-authoritarian.
True self-esteem is important to the development of an emotionally healthy adult. But what this generation has been given is a false self-esteem that comes from "everyone gets a trophy," "there are no winner or losers," "no keeping score," and "everyone is the same -- no one is better than anyone else." This all sounds good but what it has produced is a sense of entitlement, a false sense of reality, and (these are her words) a lack of empathy.
I'll share more of what Ms. Twenge says about "Generation Me" in a future blog. In the meantime, I welcome your thoughts, comments, etc.
Blessings,
Steve